the.heart.of.worship

Tuesday, February 10, 2009,11:48 PM
Preparing Ourselves to be God's Best?

Some questions on my mind after going through what was shared last Sat. For further thinking, understanding and sharing.

1. The 3Ms shared: Maker, Ministry, Mate. Some form of priority seem to be suggested... Does the order really matter? Does it benefit us to follow that order?
2. Perhaps I feel that my relationship with God is strong enough now, same for some of the people around me. Why then, do people choose not to enter BGR and decide to wait instead?
3. If I'm sure of who "the right one" that God has provided for me is, doesn't hesitating mean that I might lose her to someone else?
4. God said it is not good for Adam to be alone, and therefore created Eve. Is marriage, or courtship, the answer to loneliness in our lives?

Any takers?

~Gnoel Eews~

5 Comments:

Point 1: If you cant love God, the perfect being who is love incarnate, then you cant love anyone. Thus Maker.

If you cant love your own brothers and sisters in Christ, how to love someone who will be deeper in your life. Our r/s with our care group members, sheep and shepherds is not as deep as one with our mate. Get the family love right.

Point 2: Ask Paul. Some of us are chosen by God to spread the message in ways and/or places where a family will be a problem. Celibacy is a gift given to those who will be given special anointing to go forth and spread the message. A wife could be a potential hindrance in the spreading of the gospel.

Point 3: Pray to God and ask him to reveal when is the right time for you to take initiative. If she is really "THE ONE", God will not give her to someone else while you are confirming His call.

Point 4: We should not be lonely in this life because we have God. This question might be answered that God wanted Adam to multiply the human species so made him a mate. It could be that God already knew Adam would fall regardless of Eve so gave him someone physical to keep him company.

Good Questions. My answers are just off the top of my head. Feel free to rebutt.

By Ian, at February 12, 2009 at 11:14 PM

heys leaving a comment
1. the order is a guideline for preparation bah.
2. R/S with God strong is great! probably other considerations like finances or your R/S with the other half, are in their minds.
3. hmm take the initiative lo. if God confirm with u he/she is the other one... God should also have confirmed with he/she that u are the one too... haha
4. I believe even after marriage or courtship, loneliness still lingers lor. Good thing that you have someone to share your loneliness with.. hee

By Anonymous, at February 15, 2009 at 12:06 AM

Thanks for the replies... appreciate the effort put in to think about this area of our lives, which I would describe with a phrase someone used recently (to describe sth else): "It's always there, whether or not we talk about it openly". I hope the sermons and your attempts to process what was shared can help u guys to have a stronger understanding and firmer convictions towards relationships. And really apply it to daily living.

Points on my mind..
1. Yup the order is a guideline... so what's the rationale behind such a guideline? Ian shared a possible perspective... any others?
2. What are some of the things we should really consider when we're deciding whether to enter BGR?
3. Anyone wants to share their take on loneliness? Is it the same as "being alone"?

SL

By SL, at February 15, 2009 at 1:37 AM

Crystal's turn:
I think the order does matter. Sometimes we might just think of jumping to the third point of a mate and if we do, the world just revolves around the two of us and the other person becomes our god. just like what the sermon said, if we do not learn to submit our hurts, burdens etc to god, we just bring them along and we may end up hurting the person. And men will fail us because we're all not perfect. So when the person fails us, how? who do we turn to? And if the relationship doesn't have god in the picture, who's to be the judge when we quarrel etc, because i would say i'm right and he'd say he's right. So the relationship with god for both parties must be strong first in order to obey god' word and let god be the authority in the relationship as well.
Not only that if we jump straight to the person, it may be a perceived mindset/fabrication of your mind on how the person is like.
2) If the person's relationship with god is strong enough now, good, they'll also recognise that singlehood is the best time to serve god. To be involved in a committed relationship requires time and effort and once we're in the family group, things will take a turn for the slow as we have other priorities in life as well. paul said in 1 cor 7:32-35 that a unmarried man/woman's concerns are the affairs of the lord. And if you're going to get married for life, spending more than enough time with each other, why not choose to wait for a few more years. You'll get sick of each other in marriage LOL. kidding.
We may choose to wait also cause of the other factors: whether we are managing our lives well and am able to manage someone else's lives. whether the right one has come.Whether the person meets the criteria that you set in looking for a future life partner. whether you guys have the same life vision for god.
Whether we're financially independent and am able to start/provide for a family.. and this doesn't just involve 2 people but 6 (ur parents and spouse's parents).
3)i believe that if i'm so sure that's the right one, and god thinks so too, god will bring us together. he's not so 'chek ah' to let my "chosen one for me" be snatched away. I agree with what ed and ian said about praying about the timing.
4) 1 lonely person + 1 lonely person = 2 lonely people.. we've heard this from last year's healthy relationship seminar.. how if we're unable to cope with loneliness we'll just bring this burden to another person.
Marriage isn't the answer to loneliness. some after marriage may still experience this especially when their needs aren't met..or felt that they couldn't be understood.
Loneliness isn't being alone.. at times we need time to be a-lone where we just chill out by ourselves.. Even within a crowd, we can be lonely, where we feel we're not connected, or where we can't connect or hardly know the group of people.

By Anonymous, at February 15, 2009 at 1:33 PM

Glad to hear all the view points that are in line with WOG, which is the manual of your lives. As u r keeping the commands of the Lord/ principles n be careful to follow them, they will surely bless ur life, both present and future, as well as those ard u. =) Just to add on one key point that we should not miss as we are seeking God's guidance in preparing ourselves being the best (be it marriage or singlehood) for others (life partner or our family), which is the purpose of marriage. Ultimately if the marriage is not for honouring or glorifying God in achieving its purpose (thru sharing the same vision and direction), it will not be blessed by God.

Ha just to share my little exp of how God tested me n strengthened my conviction in this aspect in the past/ when I was younger. When I was in yr 1, I rem one of my follow-upper shared that her shepherd told her that if the purpose of marriage is not for glorifying/honoring God, the marriage won't be blessed. At that moment, her heart was shattered bcos the reason for her getting married is having children as she loves children v much. The moment I heard that, my heart was shaken too. Ha cos the reason I wanna get married is simply wanting a family and I'm really tired of moving ard yr aft yr and therefore I desire a place of belonging and a home for me n my family. Another time that I was tested was when my ex-roommate shared w me that one of her main criteria seeking her future life partner is that her husband must love God more than her. Again, my heart was shattered realising that the selfish inner me wanna that special one to love me more than anyone. And I'm really v thankful for the above 2 persons sharing their views w me, which benefited me much to build the right conviction and foundation in this aspect of relationship too. Of course, it doesn't mean that if we can't see the exact purpose God's bringing the two together like both are teachers or both r going XXX for church planting, the couples r not blessed by God. Through all the right channels God used to bring the two together (WOG, godly counsel and common sense - shared by sisters' gfg), the couple will be blessed by putting God at the center of their lives in all their major decision making, which in this aspect glorifies God as they seek their purposes in life and in marriage.

Relationship is about love and commitment. And marriage is a lifetime of love and commitment to your life partner and your family. The qns posted are good preparation for us entering into this committed r/s at the right time. We will never be prepared enough for r/s or to get married as it's the life-time lessons to be learnt and we need to be at least on the right track and have reached certain maturity n conviction n preparation to start it.

Hope it offers a more balanced view pt to the topic.

By Anonymous, at February 15, 2009 at 3:30 PM